When Sarah Dies
by Me and My Friend Caffine
Summary: ...A Seph-Kitty, a Spiky-Haired Angst Muffin, a Bouncing Puppy, a Cetra who is the Bouncy Puppy's Girlfriend, a Broody Pancake-Eating Gun-Slinging Vampire, and an Old Smoking Pilot help us destroy the world. This is crack. Read at your own risk.
1. Chapter 1

When Sarah Dies…

A Seph-Kitty, a Spiky-Haired Angst Muffin, a Bouncing Puppy, a Cetra who is the Bouncy Puppy's Girlfriend, a Broody Pancake-Eating Gun-Slinging Vampire, and an Old Smoking Pilot help us destroy the world.

* * *

As i stated in the description, this is pure crack. This was written for nothing more then the personal enjoyment of me and my cousin. I purposely wrote in broken little almost drabbles stuck together. Yes, we are Mary Sues. Get over it. That was the point. I really could care less if you flame this or not. I've made my point that this is not meant to be taken seriously. Weather you take it that way or not it up to you. I really don't care.

If you're wondering, Yes, I realize there are no Final Fantasy VII characters in the this chapter. There will be in the next.

Just so you have something to you forward to, here are the pairings for this story: Valenwind & OT4(Sephiroth/Cloud/Zack/Aerith)

Disclaimer: No, I don't own any of the Final Fantasy VII characters in this. I only own the crappy plot(if you can call it that), the bastardized versions of my cousin Sarah and myself.

Enjoy The Madness.

* * *

Nicole sat on the ground in an abandoned lot just outside her town. She just sat there drawing pictures, many like pentagrams and other demonic shapes, in the dirt with her finger.

_Ring!_

_Ring!_

_Ring!_

_Ri-_

She pulled her cell phone from her pocket and picked it up without checking the number. "Hello?" she muttered continuing to draw in the dirt.

"Hello. May I speak with Ms. Nicole Thurgood?" the male voice on the line.

"That would be me," the red head said without thinking.

"Well, Ms. Thurgood I have terrible news for you and apologize for not giving to you person. You were not home."

"Mhm and what would this 'terrible news' be?" her voice was almost sarcastic.

The man was silent for a moment before quietly informing her that her cousin, Sarah Cerezo, was dead.

* * *

The funeral and burial were over, a lone figure stood by the grave of Sarah Cerezo. Garbed in black, as most funeral goers are, stood Nicole Thurgood. She sighed and knelt before the head stone, she regarded it as though it was actually her cousin, "Ya know, I wasn't expecting this to happen so soon. But, oh well. What can ya do?" she shrugged to herself then patted the ground,

"Well I guess I'll be seeing you soon, Penguin." Smiling once at the head stone, she stood and began to walk away. After taking a few steps she stopped, turned and exclaimed, "Oh! I almost forgot!"

She pulled a slip of paper from her pocket and put in under one of the bouquets of flowers with a grin. She skipped away, leaving the grave behind.

* * *

Nicole had work to do. Lots of work. She spent her days studying books and notes left to her by Sarah and her nights prowling the streets, not one bit concerned by the fact each night seven people were reported missing.

A few days after the funeral, Nicole found herself at that abandoned lot once more. She set up a table which was littered with books and notes not a minute after it was set up. Opening a book, the girl skimmed through the pages until she came to the one she needed. On the page were a depiction of a pentagram like object and a list of instructions.

Picking up her back pack, the young teen dug throw it until she pulled out a knife, long, sharp, and deadly. First placing the dagger on the table, she pulled her layered red-blond hair into a ponytail to keep it out of her face. Her hair caught on the chain around her neck, exposing a simple silver cross.

Taking the dagger with her, she walked to the center of the lot. Pressing the dagger to her wrist, crimson liquid fell to the ground. Nicole stabbed thbloody weapon into the soil, then she began to drag the bloodied blade drawing shapes in the ground not unlike her earlier drawings.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't feel like repeating myself. If you want reasons NOT to read this, or TO read this, depending on how sane you are, go read the a/n on the first chapter.

Disclaimer: Why the hell would i own FF7?

* * *

The vacant house next to the empty lot had proved extremely useful. The cellar of the almost torn down building was an ideal place to put sacrifi-guests.

* * *

The graveyard was as silent as death, horrible pun completely intended. In the 24th row and 19 down was a tombstone that marked the body of Sarah Cerezo. Beneath that stone, unknown to the night above, a gasp for air not needed was made. The seventh day had come.

* * *

Sarah discovered that being dead wasn't as boring as it was cut out to be. She was currently reburying her coffin, only it was empty this time. Replacing the dying flowers back where they once were she found the note. Written on the front in barely legible letters was her name, obviously writing by her Fishie. As she read the note inside, a snicker escaped her throat.

* * *

The red head was buried in books and papers, half asleep, muttering about 'needing coffee', when Sarah found her. With a quick look around the decrepit room she found a thermos. Picking up the thermos, the curly brown haired teen unscrewed the cap and blew the steam towards her cousin. Nicole shot up and grabbed the thermos, downing the hot drink quickly.

Sarah smirked, "That better?"

Nicole whipped around and practically jumped out of her seat, "SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP! What the Hell! When did you get here!"

Sarah snerked. "I've been here for about ten minutes watching you gurgle in your sleep about coffee."

Nicole blinked, "Well, then can I have some more before start the apocalypse?"

* * *

"Get the sacrifices." ordered the recently risen sorceress as she checked over every detail again and again. It was late in the night and a cresent moon hung over head, with no one to bear witness, they prepared for the ritual. Nicole skipped off into the house, quietly singing under her breath. When she returned she brought a group of disoriented people, many seemed to be either prostitutes or hobos(Nicole had been fighting the urge to burn at least one hobo the entire week), people no one would really miss.

She pulled them over to the empty lot and led them to stand on the circle, carful they didn't mess it up.

"We're ready now. Let's do this," Sarah smiled, but it wasn't a pleasant smile, it was one bordering on sadistic pleasure. Nicole grinned hugely; her grin was one an insane serial killer would wear. Sarah pressed her hands to the ground at the edge of the circle and Nicole followed in suit.

They began to chant in unison:

_Afferte illum_

_Afferte illum ad mundi_

_Excitare_

_Excitare da requiem_

_Da magnum Sephiroth_

_Nos iube haec mundi_

As their voices rang out white light engulfed the circle and the sacrifices opened their mouths in silent screams.

* * *

Blinding white light surrounded him, waking him from his sleep. He felt as though he was being pulled in one direction then another all while being dragged downward. This was unlike anything else he had ever experienced. It didn't hurt but it didn't feel good either, it was just an odd tingling feeling.

* * *

Over all he was confused, but nothing could be worse than floating around in the Lifestream waiting for someone to resurrect him _again, _which quite frankly was getting old.

The light faded from around him and before Sephiroth could even get his bearings, he was tackled to the ground by two people. It wasn't the type of 'I want to kill you!' kind of tackle nor was it the 'let's wrestle!' kind, it was the kind that he often received from Zack which he referred to as a 'glomp'. Thus his first thought was, _'Why is someone, besides Zack, glomping me?'_

_

* * *

_Hehe. I lurv Zack.


	3. Chapter 3

When Sarah Dies…

A Seph-Kitty, a Spiky-Haired Angst Muffin, a Bouncing Puppy, a Cetra who is the Bouncy Puppy's Girlfriend, a Broody Pancake-Eating Gun-Slinging Vampire, and an Old Smoking Pilot help us destroy the world.

* * *

Disclamer: still don't own.

"So you want me to help you take over this world?" a slender silvery eyebrow raised at the two girls before him.

"Yup!" said the shorter one with light red hair cheerfully, a grin disturbingly like one of Zack's on her face. The second one, slightly taller with dark curly hair, just smirked slightly.

Sephiroth sighed, "I have nothing better to do…so sure, I'll help you take over your world." He glanced over them for a moment, "What are your names?"

The taller one smiled, "My name is Sarah Cerezo." She gestated toward the girl besides her, "And this is Nicole Thurgood." the newly named Nicole, happily waved at him unnecessarily.

He opened his mouth to introduce himself but Sarah cut him off saying, "We already know who you are, Sephiroth. We had to in order to summon you."

"I'm not sure I want to know how you know me." The girls giggled supposedly innocently.

"Before we start our conquest," Sarah said as she grabbed Nicole by the back of the shirt to prevent her from touching Masamune. "We need you to summon the rest of OT4."

"OT4?" the silver haired man said, confused yet again.

Nicole stopped her struggling, "You know, Cloud Strife, Zack Fair, and Aerith Gainsborough. Your boyf-your girlf-your Lovers." She finally managed, "It's as much for your benefit as it is for ours."

Sephiroth just smirked; he just might like these girls despite how creepy it was they knew so much about him.

* * *

Not 15 minutes later, and with a lot less effort, two severely confused Soldiers and a mildly confused Cetra plopped into existence in front of Sephiroth. Aerith Gainsborough smiled at him saying, "Long time no see, Sephiroth." he offered her a hand, which she took and pulled herself to her feet.

Zack Fair blinked a few times then grinned with his head cocked to the side, "Hi Seph!" he got off the ground and jumped on the silver haired man. Sephiroth caught him easily, used to the puppy attacking him by now.

"It's nice to see you too, Puppy, but please let go." Zack did as he was told but still grinned unashamed.

Still sitting on the ground, Cloud Strife blinked up at the man towering over him, "Sephiroth? I thought you were dead."

"I was." The man replied simply. "But, as Zack would say, I got better."

* * *

"Since the others have arrived, I suggest we glomp them."

"I concur. But there are three, who do we go after?"

"I'll get the Chocobo. You get the Puppy."

"But what about the Cetra?"

"Well, since you're the bisexual one you can have her."

"Okay!"

"On Three…"

"Screw three. YAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

"ATTACK!"

* * *

Cloud, who was still hadn't stood, suddenly found himself being glomped by an overexcited girl. Before he could really react, she was sitting in his lap and playing with hair. He simply sat there in shock as the curly haired girl played with his hair.

Zack, too, found himself being glomped, only he managed to stay standing. The girl, who was now hanging off his neck, nuzzled her face into it. He was confused but still wrapped an arm around the redhead's waist to keep her from falling.

Aerith blinked, and said semi sadly, "…I didn't get a hug."

The girl dropped from Zack's neck, she was at least a foot shorter then Sephiroth making Zack much taller than her as well, and stood in front of Aerith with open arms. "Sorry. There are only two of us, and Sarah-chan wanted to hug Cloud. So I got you and Zack. And I hada hug one of yah first, and Zack was closest. So, it's your turn. Hug?" she held her arms out a little wider with a smile.

Aerith shrugged and hugged the younger girl, who happily latched on the Cetra.

Sephiroth found this quite entertaining.

* * *

"…So basically you want us to help you take over your planet?" Cloud asked. Nicole and Sarah had just explained to them why they had been summoned, Sephiroth elaborating on a few things that had been better explained to him earlier.

"Basically." Sarah said simply, once again stopping Nicole from touching something she shouldn't, only this time it was just Cloud in general.

Zack grinned, "This is gonna be fun! Right, Spike?" the spiky haired blonde just shrugged so the turned back to the girls. "So, I have a question! Aren't you girls a little bit too young to be trying to take over the world?"

"Well…" Sarah began, "I'm 16, but a little over a week ago I died and I've only recently risen from the dead. Now I'm an immortal half demonic sorceress now. Don't ask it's far too complicated."

Nicole spoke the moment Sarah stopped, "I'm almost 14. And human. But when I die I'm gonna turn into a vampire 'cause I'm a ginger. So I'm good." She grinned cheekily.

"Speaking of vampires, we should bring Vincent!" Aerith said cheerfully.

Our favorite Angst Muffin blinked, "Vincent Valentine?"

"What other Vincent do you know, Cloud?"

Cloud shrugged, "It's not a bad idea really."

Zack looked back and forth between the two. "Who's Vincent Valentine?" he asked, clueless.

"Yah know the dude from AVALANCHE with the gun, the claw, and the cape?" the oldest female present mimicked the objects as she spoke.

Zack nodded energetically.

"Yeah, that's Vincent." Cloud replied.

"Why is it a good idea to bring him?" Sephiroth raised a silvery eyebrow.

"'Cause he's your daddy!" Aerith giggled. "And you can't take over the world without family!"

"But-" the tallest man began but was cut off by Cloud.

"No, Hojo is not your father. Aerith told me. She knows shit, believe me." Cloud explained, with a little glare to stop Sephiroth from saying anything else.

Sephiroth just accepted the answer, unable to resist how adorable Cloud looked.

* * *

All while the foursome was discussing this Nicole face changed from a look of awe, to one of childish excitement, to one of thought, and lastly her face slipped into a smirk.

Sarah just looked on with a grin. 


	4. Chapter 4

When Sarah Dies…

A Seph-Kitty, a Spiky-Haired Angst Muffin, a Bouncing Puppy, a Cetra who is the Bouncy Puppy's Girlfriend, a Broody Pancake-Eating Gun-Slinging Vampire, and an Old Smoking Pilot help us destroy the world.

Disclaimer: No matter how many time I ask, im still not getting Final Fantasy VII for Christmas.

* * *

Sephiroth once again was the one to do the summoning, seeing as though he didn't need any sacrifices to do so.

A mildly disorientated demon infested ex Turk and an utterly confused cursing half-drunk pilot appeared in the place the others had arrived earlier. A long stream of curses broke the air curtsies of Cid Highwind as well as an almost inaudible _click_ from a gun being cocked as Vincent Valentine stood and pulled out Cerberus without really registering who was around them.

Cloud stepped forward, and spoke over the profanities, "Hold on, Vincent. Don't shoot. It's me, Cloud."

Vincent paused for a moment, red eyes scanning the group, narrowing slightly as they passed over Sephiroth, but put away his gun when he saw how relaxed both Cloud and Aerith stood next to the silver haired man. With his human hand he reached over and pulled his lover to his feet, the man still muttering curses under his breath.

Cid turned to Cloud and said, "What the hells' goin' on?" He reached up and pulled a cigarette from his the pack strapped to his goggles and lit it up, taking a drag from the cancer stick.

Cloud sighed, "Who wants to explain this time?"

* * *

Nicole's eyes went wide when the two figures appeared and was about to make a mad dash towards them but her cousin caught her by the waist before she could go far. The red head struggled for a moment, hoping she might be able to break free, but the older girl was much stronger than her at the moment.

"I don't want you getting shot, Dear One." Sarah said as Nicole looked back at her with puppy eyes. "Stop struggling."

Nicole gave Sarah the Puppy Eyes of Dooooooooooooom™ as she began to pled, "Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please! PLEASE!"

"No. You're going to get shot. Or impaled. Or both. Depends on who you're after."

Nicole's lip wibbled.

Sarah caved.

Vincent Valentine was promptly glomped.

* * *

The situation was explained to Vincent and Cid by Aerith, while Zack, Cloud, and Sephiroth pried Nicole off of Vincent, who had, thankfully, been in too much shock to shoot her. Cid thought it was funny as did Chaos who was quietly chuckling in the back of his Host's mind.

"So, we're takin' over the world, huh?" Cid took a drag of his cig thoughtfully.

Sarah nodded in reply. "Nicole and I have been planning this for a while now. I mean we could have done it without you guys but Nicole's still human."

"Still human?" Vincent questioned from beside Cid, attempting to keep his distance from the red head but was failing miserably seeing as though she was currently playing with his cape. He shifted his gaze from Sarah, who was smirking, to Cid, who was clueless and just shrugged, to the girl sitting on the ground near him, playing with his cape.

She looked up at him and grinned. He raised an eyebrow.

Sephiroth decided to take the liberty of answering, "Apparently when she dies she becomes a vampire, like how her cousin became whatever she is when she died." He gave a shrug.

Cid gapped at Sarah, effectively dropping his cigarette which Aerith crushed underfoot seeing as though it landed in front of her. "YOU'RE DEAD?" He spluttered Sarah just nodded.

Vincent slowly turned to look at the pilot. "As am I."

"Same here." Aerith smiled.

Zack's hand shot up. "Me too!" He said loudly.

"I think most of us present, including myself, should be floating through the Lifestream." Sephiroth said with a smirk, as he leaned down, resting his arms on Cloud's shoulders, to whisper something into Cloud's ear. Cloud flushed brightly but didn't move anyway from the General.

Nicole rose from the ground. "I don't see why you're so surprised. Your boyfriend's dead." She giggled a little and went over to the still cluttered table feet away from the group, beginning to pack things away into the back pack they came in.

Cid spluttered again.

* * *

Wow. real fast update.


End file.
